sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
