i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
A+ Viking dick
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
