he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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