How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
