Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize