There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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