it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
