you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
