when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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