i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
