I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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