I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
