Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
