Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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