You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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