Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
