Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
