I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we're making bets on your personal life
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize