I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize