You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
