I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
