I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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