So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if only i could text you this smell
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
