The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize