U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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