I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
