get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize