I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
