I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
