I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
