I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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