Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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