Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
