we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
