p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize