my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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