Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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