We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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