i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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