Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
