i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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