Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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