So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize