The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
