He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Four minutes until I can fart!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
