He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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