And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
A+ Viking dick
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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