he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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