Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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