fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
false alarm, still single
I think i got beer on your cat.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
