So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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