Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
