It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
