meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
