I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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