the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
