he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
