New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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