Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
