good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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