I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
