similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize