that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
zippers are such a cool invention
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
