So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize