ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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