Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize