Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
