we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
