Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
