all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You were trust falling into bushes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
