it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize