Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
