it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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