i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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