why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My vagina just clenched in fear
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