I'm sorry my penis didn't work
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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