3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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