oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
