at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize