She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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