All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
