Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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