i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
